Blame it on the Dell...

So I've been MIA...once again. Well at least this time I have a semi-decent reason for it. Some where in the middle of summer, my Dell crashed. And BIG time :/ I feel like ever since I have had this computer, its caused a lot of stress! Just when I thought I was in the clear with the anti-virus program and software, paying for the extra warranty, and keeping my system updated was really all for nothing! I turned my computer on only to find popping up was a blue screen. And for all the nerds out there, you dread seeing that blue screen, especially when it states, "fatal system error." So I have been trying to figure out a solution. But I really dont feel the need to  have to pay an arm and a leg for the help, even if its just to chat online with Dell support. So I have been trying to live my nerdy lifestyle through my iPhone. But sometimes all I wanted was a big screen where I didnt have to zoom to read an article or email! Anyways, I think I have gotten to the point where I dont care how much info I am going to lose on my computer, its worth trying to reboot and start all over. Its just one of those things where Im at a loss. Just as well, as at a loss for the money to pay for it to be fixed. So hopefully once this problem gets fixed I will be back up on the internet and be able to keep updated. Its just one more problem I add to the list... ugghh

Summer Vacation? Not soo sure...

As of yesterday, June 21, it was our first official day of summer. However for most of you, summer probably starts somewhere around the end of May or beginning of June. And mine..well summer starts on the last day of school! There are always a million things I want to do over  break, but somehow always manage to complete about maybe 3 of them. So here it is now, the middle of June already, and I find this depressing.

Ive lost about 95% of the tan I started with. And the funny thing is, is that my original tan was from a fake n' bake bed. I have yet to get my back storage/arts&crafts/office/oceanarium room back in order. I still have school stuff thrown about room, and it didn't help that my husband decided to bring home a 60 gallon tank for Shelly. I was like... "um did you even think about where we were going to put this thing?" His answer, "well it was free." Some days folks...some days!

So I'm in the midst of my summer vacay, and feel like I am stuck going nowhere. Needless to say accomplishing anything. Its not that I am not motivated, I just don't know where to start. So somewhere between doing loads of laundry, organizing, cleaning, doing random errands, I still need to find the time to enjoy summer, just when?

I have about 2 weeks until I begin teaching bilingual summer school. I was very excited to get accepted in, and am looking forward to working with the kids. Plus, I feel fortunate to be able to earn a little extra money. I am still struggling to save for a house. Why do I feel like I will never be able to save enough! Being an adult just seems to be getting tougher and tougher.

Anyways, please tell me I am not the only one who just wishes they could go back and enjoy the summer vacations like we did when we were in elementary school? Ahhh..now those were the days...

Change

One thing that has been said and proven, is that there is constant change going on. Whether that change be around us, or happening to us. And, unfortunately bad news never has good timing as well. This past week my first grade position was eliminated for next year. My heart literally sank. And to make matters even worse, my principal told me while I was teaching my class. I wasn't sure how to react, what to say, or what to do. I tried my best to keep myself collected together, especially in front of my kids. Needless to say, I lost it, and big time. After she left my room, I was able to walk over to my desk and cry for a minute. I hated the fact it was 9 in the morning, my makeup was everywhere, tear/mascara drops all over my good sweater, and I still had the whole day ahead of me. Since I was bumped from my position, this means that myself along with another first grade teacher, get first pick on any other teaching position that opens up in the building. The only jobs available were two 4th grade positions. So I signed right up, because A: its a job, and B: I get to stay in the same school. So all in all, I am extremely happy to still have a job, but very disappointed and sad to lose my first grade classroom :(  And in the teaching profession, things are always changing, so you never know what might happen next. I am just hoping and praying that enrollment goes sky high for kinder and 1st and they open up our rooms again. Until then, all a girl can do, is just go with the flow and enjoy the last 5 weeks with her first graders.

Some of the things we have learned this year :)

Learning how to measure and do self-portraits :)

New Ride

So when am I not late, behind, trailing, or just plain not keeping up with the things in my life? And, unfortunately, blogging has been one of those things lately. But I figure, better late than never....at least thats what I hope. Well about 2 months ago, my Pontiac finally caved in on me. (And horribly) When I found out that it was my transmission, I just figured that it wasnt worth the time or money to fix my car up...again. Needless to say, I had to tell me car "ciao". Letting go was a lot harder than I imagined it to be. I just started crying as I was cleaning out the endless piles of random things. I swear I found a small Goodwill store in my trunk alone. Ahh...Ive had such good memories in that car, 7 years worth. And to this day, I still miss it. But in the end, I knew I was going to eventually have to buy a new car. So I did my first big item purchase of my life. And seriously...how many papers does one need to sign? So after spending 5 1/2 hours of stressing, looking over numbers, figuring out what I could actually afford, I bought a new car. Its such an overwhelming experience! I hope that I do not have to go through another process like this for at least a year or 2. It was draining! Anyways....heres the new one. Im sure we'll have some good times too :)

More sleep or caffiene?

Ever have one of those days where you swear it feels like it will never end?

Well, today was definitely one of those days. I felt like I had been run over by a semi-truck. I know I got enough sleep, and was ready to go this Monday morning. Im just not sure if the kids ate a pound of sugar for breakfast, or I just wasn't up to their energy level today. But man, oh man, did they honestly give me a run for my money today. So let me just say, I am thankful I do not come home to any little ones. Because I am not sure if I would have any sanity left after an energetic day like this. So an immense of amount of appreciation to all of the moms out there.

Just Need Some Sunshine

I know that I haven't posted much lately, and I cant say I really have got a good reason for it. As usual, my first graders keep me pretty mentally exhausted. Just when I think they have honestly asked me a million questions, they aways find at least 100 more :) Ive learned a lot in the past 113 days of school. Ive learned a lot about what some of my kids go through each and every day. And I am talking like, things and subjects we were never exposed to when we went through elementary. And it just makes me so sad. I have one student who is in foster because she was sexually abused by a family member. Her mother also abuses drugs.
Anyways, she seemed a little sad one day, so I asked her to have lunch with Mrs. L. It was almost like we were having an adult conversation. She and I talked about a little bit of everything, what she likes to do, who she watches on TV (HannaMontana...of course!) She did mention how she misses her mom, but she told me that because of her moms bad choices she cannot see her, and she knows that she wll get better and they will be able to spend time together again soon. I quote her on this. I can feel the pain through her voice and it just makes me upset, angry and want to cry all at the same time. All I could offer this little girl besides an education, is a hug and let her know I care.
It is days like this, I could use a little more sunshine. I am finding that my job is becoming a lot more harder than I had imagined. Some days, I just come home and ponder what some of my kids go home to. Do they have heat? What about a dinner? Is there an adult to supervise them? And its every day that I get to spend time with them, and enjoy their silly jokes, their amazing personalities, and even their 100 extra questions. So even though I could use a little bit of sunshine right about now. At least I know I am in the right profession. Because in a million years from now, I will know that I as able to make a positive difference. And maybe, thats all the sunshine I need?